I Almost Gave Up

Magical, I don’t know any other way to describe it. I remember the exact moment the idea came to me for my novel. It came in such a vivid way that I felt like it was something great. It was something I needed to work on and grow.

The main character was someone I wished to be, the location was tranquil and the characters were people I wished to know. I didn’t just end up writing a book, I wrote a damn series. Nearly four books for the same idea, the thoughts kept pouring onto paper. The characters kept evolving and the conflict became more dire.

I worked on that story for several years, I wrote one draft after another, then another to fix the mistakes. Then the editing that I must have done over a dozen times. I’ve never had anyone read it, because I’m shy at showing my work, something I need to work on. Then I tried to query and of course got rejected after waiting several months, or not hearing back at all. It sucks.

I tried again and still got rejected. I knew to keep going, to keep working on the craft of writing but then one day, I gave up. I’d had enough and hit a wall. I felt like it was a lost cause if no one would give me a chance.

Why am I writing? I’d ask myself. Querying and getting rejected started to take the fun out of it. I also felt like the mojo was gone for my ideas; writer’s block? Stress? I don’t know what it was. To be honest, I didn’t look at that story for well over a year. I really thought that was it, it’d be tucked away on my computer and I’d never give it another thought. But that didn’t happen.

I did work on some other projects but I still had it imbedded that it wasn’t good enough. It’s hard to find support being a writer, not many people are willing to put in the time and read something of yours because you haven’t proved your worth with it.

A couple of months ago, I started to think about why I gave up. Writing is an outlet for me, I’m aware I’m not the best. Hell, I may stink worse than rotten cottage cheese, but I’m going to keep doing it. Why? Because I enjoy it. I really, really do.

I don’t want to give up because I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to pay my dues and put in more work to achieve my goal. I know this, yet sometimes it’s difficult to sink in.

Recently, I’ve dove back into that story I hold so dear. I really want to give it another chance, or two or three. I did almost give up but I’m back at it because of the reason I started writing, because I enjoy it.

I’ll end this post with one of my favorite quotes.

“If you can quit, then quit, if you can’t quit, you’re a writer.” R.A Salvatore

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